March 27, 2011

Assassin Chic

Pretty girl assassin movies = one of my favorite childhood genres. Watching Bridget Fonda in Point of No Return repeatedly on HBO in 3rd grade was how I learned about Nina Simone. No lie, my parents weren't of refined taste.

Anyhow I was reminded to finally do this post after my girlfriend Ann noted the Rodarte exhibition at MOCA in Los Angeles. (I hope all of you in the vicinity will go. I wish to, but it's unknown when I'll return again to the region.) Ann included photos of the Black Swan costumes, which brings me to today's topic: Natalie Portman and how I can't deal with anything she's said or done since The Professional. I'll spare you that hater rant, but just know that I have not seen the ballet movie and have no plans to ever do so.

Mathilda was most certainly one of my childhood heroines tho. Her looks were the bomb. I had a velvet choker just like hers, little charm and everything. And also, you can wear this whole look head to toe again this summer and be the coolest. Because it's like, from the 90s, duh. :/

But no really, don't wear that shit. Well, maybe one of these knit hats. What I reeeeally want to indicate is that more men could take some style notes from Léon. I mean.

His silhouettes were just incredible. When checking your coat fits, ask yourself, can I conceal many guns and also a high powered rifle under this? But, please don't actually carry guns. That's really not cool (so Tea Party). Just use your imagination, like you've been doing when picking out hunting jackets for that hunting trip you'll never take because you don't hunt. (Or just revisit Yohji Yamamoto collections on style.com and admit to liking fashion.) Pair your big coat with slouchy fit pants, and roll em up to reveal your white socks. And then keep a simple white t-shirt or thermal on up top. Forget the plaid button up and the selvage tie, I'm sick of seeing it. It's not authentic anymore because everyone knows about it now. You need some new real man shit to look like a real man who does really manly things like kill people. You need some whites like dad used to have. The kind that need hot water and bleach. Try to work in a harness without looking contrived, if at all possible. And most importantly invest in circular shades. Top it off with a tiny hat and you are all set. Oh and please take good care of your house plants. All these things will make you sexy to neighboring 12 year old girls, and me.

Is life always this hard, or is it just when you're a kid?

1 comment:

minor keys said...

One of my favorite films, really amazing.
The answer to the last question, is: always this hard.