September 29, 2010

Layers, Change, and the Remains

I will always be a fan of a black and white polka dot. In the past few years it seemed a childish contradiction to my attempts at looking like a grownasswoman. I got rid of the polka dot skirt that I wore to death in high school long ago. I don't regret it; it was like a relic of an era I'd rather forget. And I used to wear it in the most twee ways possible... think barrettes and pigtails and Keds. 

But when I saw this tight sweater for like, no money at a secondhand store I "had to have it," just like when I spotted the skirt with the same print at a thrift store like a DECADE ago (holy shit getting older never ceases to shock me).

The challenge when I got home was like: "Do I regret this purchase?" I'm super stubborn, so I said, "No!" Apparently I also talk to myself. Well, that's true, because it's what I'm doing right now, in public no less! So I didn't regret it, but it was very high-school regressive of me... I knew something good could come of it even though tight-fitting, short-sleeved, not-cropped synthetic looking sweaters are not exactly anyone's idea of rad right now. Which is another reason I bought it.

The answer is always layering.
(Aside: My bangs are very Norma (diner lady) in Twin Peaks here, and I'm so OK with it.)

The pants and overcoat are unashamedly Gap sale purchases. I fucking live in the Midwest, so cut me some slack, you cool coastal readers...Woah, sorry for the defensiveness!! I really love this coat. The black blazer and red Coach bag are from Buffalo Exchange. The boots are my most notable DIY from this summer.

Even though I've updated my use of the black polka dot into a decidedly non-emo/Lolita styling, some things never change. My keds back in high school were bright red, just like the bag. I like thinking about what I've had continuity with even as I've matured. Being 25 has been like being 15 all over again at times. I'm so filled with angst and confusion and want to run away from life. I know more but am still lost so much of the time. 

But it's also true that I know who I am and love my adult life. This isn't about nostalgia. My 20s brought great confidence along with the new confusions. Noticing some continuity through dramatic changes helps me convince myself I'm not schizo. For example, I just had a conversation yesterday about how Ayn Rand is my ideological opposite when a friend posted about loving her work. I hadn't thought about ole Ayn in so long; I had to try hard to recall why I don't agree with her, and it reminded me that I wrote an essay for high school English criticizing her philosophy. The style can mature but the principles remain. I like that.

1 comment:

Mariel said...

again, super chic and effortless. ayn rand is insane. and those lovely DIY booties - i remember that awesome post. :)